There is nothing in this world more bitter than spring...
It's approaching. And thats how I feel.
Its about 12:45 Sunday morning. Rain is coming down in buckets. I'm more or less wide awake in the middle of the night, as I have been countless other times.
A year ago at this time, my life was more or less without much hope. I had no full time job, and no prospects.
A year later, even though I have a full time job, I feel almost exactly the same way.
I just don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm screwing up. A lot. It's not that I'm not working hard -- in fact, that might be the root cause. With only me up front in the shop to work, I've really been pushed past my limits. I'm working my ass off, really, and getting *nowhere*. And I'll be the first to admit, much of it is self-induced. Yet if I'm put in a near-impossible situation, should they be surprised that I'm struggling? They've insisted help would soon be on the way, but they've been insisting that for a while now. Although realisticly, someone may be hired as soon as this week, how long will it take them to adjust? And more importantly, how much more can I personally take.
I'll continue to shut the fuck up, and learn to buck up, at least for now. Hopefully this is nothing more than a (very) rough patch in the road. But I don't need to take this shit. I need to go places, and I don't have as much time as I used to. If they want me to help them reach the promised land, so be it. I'd frankly be proud to help grow their business. But I can't do anything if all I'm going to do is run around all day putting out fires and keeping things barely going on a shoestring. Thats not a way to work. Thats called survival.
Its about 12:45 Sunday morning. Rain is coming down in buckets. I'm more or less wide awake in the middle of the night, as I have been countless other times.
A year ago at this time, my life was more or less without much hope. I had no full time job, and no prospects.
A year later, even though I have a full time job, I feel almost exactly the same way.
I just don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm screwing up. A lot. It's not that I'm not working hard -- in fact, that might be the root cause. With only me up front in the shop to work, I've really been pushed past my limits. I'm working my ass off, really, and getting *nowhere*. And I'll be the first to admit, much of it is self-induced. Yet if I'm put in a near-impossible situation, should they be surprised that I'm struggling? They've insisted help would soon be on the way, but they've been insisting that for a while now. Although realisticly, someone may be hired as soon as this week, how long will it take them to adjust? And more importantly, how much more can I personally take.
I'll continue to shut the fuck up, and learn to buck up, at least for now. Hopefully this is nothing more than a (very) rough patch in the road. But I don't need to take this shit. I need to go places, and I don't have as much time as I used to. If they want me to help them reach the promised land, so be it. I'd frankly be proud to help grow their business. But I can't do anything if all I'm going to do is run around all day putting out fires and keeping things barely going on a shoestring. Thats not a way to work. Thats called survival.
posted by I.M. Weasel @ 12:34 AM
1 Comments:
At 1:54 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Perhaps it's time to start putting out your resume.
There's nothing wrong with testing the waters, and now that you've got a bit of experience under your belt, some new opportunities may now be available that previously weren't.
Bitching will only take you so far. Then you gotta take action.
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